Jesus Loves you, but he loves ME better!

My two children constantly fight. I guess I need to see the humor in the content of these mini-battles, because otherwise I'd lose it altogether.

They usually fight over things that mean nothing to either of them. Like a cheap Mcdonald's Happy Meal Toy that has been buried in the bottom of the toy chest but recently discovered.

The latest fight was yesterday morning. I am in the middle of a big jury trial, and I was edgy to begin with.

The topic of argument: A plastic braclet that says "Jesus Loves Me."

Let me digress. Both me and my husband are athiests. My children have an uncle, however, that semmingly thinks that it is his duty in life to save my kids from the paganist lifestyle we've created. So he buys the kids Jesus books, Jesus coloring books, Jesus bracelets, Jesus movies, Jesus underware, Jesus blow-up dolls (OK, I made the last two up, but you get the point.)

Back to the fight. I walk into the bathroom, and they are on the floor punching eachother. After I break this nonesense up, I ask them what is the problem. My older child produces the long-lost 25-cent Jesus bracelet.

Daughter: "Uncle M gave this to ME. It's Mine."
Me: Can't you let your brother borrow it.
(As an aside, her brother is 5 and austistic)
Daughter: But uncle M said Jesus loves me.
Me: Honey, your brother does not understand sharing. Can you let him have it for few minutes. you have like 500 bracelets, he has none.
Daughter: But Uncle M said Jesus loves me.
Me: I've got to get to work. either stop fighting or the stupid bracelet is going in the trash
Daughter: (In sassy tone) But Uncle M said Jesus loves ME. That means the bracelet is mine

What I wanted to say: Jesus does not love kids who fight.

But I did not say this. Nor did I say Jesus loves you both.

Instead, I put the bracelet in escrow until one of the children can provide evidentiary proof that Jesus loves them more.