Early Morning

It is early right now. 6:35AM to be exact.

I hate the mornings. Let me rephrase that. 6:35 is a glorious time, when you've been up all night. It's still dark out. Darkness is full of possibilities. darkness is void of reponsibilities. Darkness is calm. I would live during darkness, if I could so chose.

And let the truth be known, I have been living in the darkness. Both figuratively and literally. I have been sleeping, many days lately, from 5Am-2PM. This is not workable. My whole life is being effected by my preverse love of the night.

A few days ago I made a conscious effort to get myself back onto what the world calls a "normal" sleep schedule. even though it qualifies as anything but normal to me. My body is resisting. I have been getting up at a "socially acceptable" time of 7AM, and every day around 1 or PM I become direly exausted. But I stay busy. I do not succomb to mid-day naps.

Two nights ago, I took 3 tylenol PM at 9:00PM and finally fell asleep around 3AM. I woke up with this anxious feeling at 7:00. last night I forced myself to bed at 1AM, and layed there staring at the wall untill, now.

Now it's 6:45AM.
Not the good 6:45AM
The bad 6:45AM